Last week I was very productive.  I got about 3/4 of one paper done, made about a 10 page headway on another, and worked up data collection materials for the third.  I was hoping that momentum would carry over to this week.

So far, it has not.   This is frustrating to me.  In the grand scheme of things there is still plenty of time until the semester is over – but having spent too many nights during my M.A. program trying to crank out papers at the deadline, I have vowed not to do this in my PhD program.  Compared to my classmates I’m way ahead, but in my own mind, I’m desperately behind.

I’ve pretty much quit teaching the class I’m teaching.  We are at the point in the semester where it’s time for them to work on their final projects.  I’ve turned class over to them for time to work on their projects.  Is it the best decision?  Probably not.  I’ve just reached a point in that class where I realize I’m in waaaaaaaaay over my head with the material I’m supposed to be teaching.  Ultimately, I’m here for my own education, so if it comes down to a choice between stressing out majorly over a class I’ll never teach again and taking time away from my own educational pursuits, or focusing on my own…well, excuse me for being selfish.

My boy got in touch with me earlier today with some terrible and tragic news about friends of ours.  Since this isn’t their blog or a place to air their problems, I’ll leave it at terrible and tragic loss they have suffered.  It’s one of those things that makes you say “Oh my God” several times…but then you’re at a loss over what to say or do.  You know that there are no words that will even come close to easing the pain.  You know there’s nothing that you can say that will make any bit of this better.  You know that your role is to simply be a friend – to be there to give a hug, cook a meal, run an errand, or just simply listen when the time is right.  That part of friendship really just sucks, because I so desperately wish for the magic wand that will make everything ok.  It’s uncomfortable in a sense, and I know that many people tend to not say anything for the fear of saying the wrong thing.  But really…what else can you possibly say besides “I’m here for you”?