I’m apparently trying to run. Idea-wise, that is. Paper ideas, project ideas, big grand theory ideas. I’ve got a car half built, but it’s missing brakes and an engine right now. It’s an interesting metaphor, but it kind of makes sense.

I spent two hours talking with one of my professors on Friday about dissertation ideas, project ideas, and what I define myself as as a scholar. My program got dogged, which was fun. The point was raised that as a scholar, I had to learn how to crawl before I could walk. I’m in the first tentative stages of crawling. I’d love to be the person that can just start running out of the gate, but alas, it’s not meant to be.

Of course, this means about 3 great paper ideas I had need to be completely re-worked. But that’s ok.

It’s hard to take a few steps back. To re-train one’s thinking. It’s interesting. My female athletes paper I’m working on has been a study of this new way of thinking – the right way. I spent a couple hours diagramming out hypotheses, independent variables, and dependent variables. In theory, it sounds easy. You write about a theory, point out what’s missing, add your hypotheses, and test. In reality? Holy crap. It’s hard. I get the ‘advanced degree’ concept finally. I like it. It’s fun. I need an intervention.

I also learned yesterday that I am one of three finalists for a young scholar award – the conference I’ll go to in April gives this specific award to the top paper submitted by a grad student. As one of three finalists, it’s nice to realize that even if I don’t know how to fully crawl yet, at least I can take a few strides…